"What kind of mother leaves her children?" ...is the typical reaction faced by non-resident mothers when their story is told. For this reason their stories are seldom told but are kept as a shameful secret. Non-resident mothers often live in fear of their secret being revealed because even in a society where the breakdown of the nuclear family is now common and other types of family arrangement are more acceptable, the 'absent mother' remains a strong social taboo.

Over recent years the plight of non-resident fathers has moved to the forefront of public consciousness, mainly due to the high profile activities of the 'fathers4justice' campaign. These groups have highlighted errors in family law and the legal process that allow resident parents to break agreements and to abuse the rights of the non-resident parent with relative impunity. In the worst cases this can take the form of 'parental alienation syndrome', where the resident parent purposely encourages non-contact and the breakdown of the relationship between the non-resident parent and the child.

Non-resident mothers experience all of the same troubles as fathers but additionally they are subjected to ruthless judgmental responses from others who often assume that they must be unfit or supremely selfish. Julie (surname withheld), has experienced many of these reactions first hand.
"I have worked hard to believe myself when I say inwardly, 'I had no choice', or, 'I did what I thought was best for the children at the time'. The reason that people's comments hurt so much is that they are so easy for me to believe. Sometimes I hate myself and think that I deserve to feel this way"
Julie has lived separately from her children since her divorce three years ago. She is still locked in a legal battle with her ex-husband who she says treats her as if she has no rights at all.